My sweet husband, our puppy and I live in a studio apartment.
A little more than 2 years ago, I had to move 20 years worth of stuff into 14 boxes to make the transatlantic flight.
I gave up several material possessions before moving to France. I am not going to lie, it was difficult to part with several sentimental items, especially gifts from close friends.
However, when I become nostalgic for my old life, I often think of Tyler Durden from Fight Club.
In his infinate wisdom, he said, 'The things you own, end up owning you.' or my personal favorite,
'its only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.'
My sweet husband, Nico is Tyler Durden, minus Fight Club.
He is free. He is my hero.
He doesn't subscribe to consumerism, and has taught me the importance of living well. And like Durden, he constantly reminds me that we are not the the stuff we own, it is not how much money we have in the bank, it is not the contents of our wallets, it is about living a good life before knowing we have to die.
This is a constant point of friction in our lives, because the propaganda of consumerism has its hooks deep within me. I hate it, yes, and I find letting go and letting the chips fall where they may, is, for lack of a better word(s) - so damn hard.
Do you remember the scene in the movie where Tyler puts a gun to Raymond's head?
Durden threatens to kill Raymond unless the clerk returns to veterianarian school to become a doctor as he previously desired.
When he sets him free, he says,
'Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life.
His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.'
I am Raymond, minus the gun and threats of course, still, I am Raymond.
I feel I was squandering my life in The States, living a life of self-importance, buying happiness, and slowly killing myself. I surrounded myself with stuff and people that would NEVER love me in return.
France, and to some extent, Nico, has set me free. They have both shown me something grander, more beautiful, more important: To be the best me.
It is a work-in-progress and to use the above words, so damn hard!
That's my fight. The one within myself.
Nico has said to me, on more than one occasion, that "the most beautiful fight is the one with yourself."
He is talking about overcoming all those things (rudeness, laziness, hatefulness) that is within me.
I may not be able to change the world, however I can change myself and my outlook of the world.
And burying my head in the sand, is no longer my modus operandi.
As Albert Einstein said, "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
May the Gods bless me with willpower, strength and courage to love and to move in the opposite direction of myself, even though it is so damn hard.
Here is to a beautiful fight. The fight within me.
Written and dedicated to my sweet Nico and Cachou, who both make me a better person just by breathing.
Bonjour et Bienvenue!
Thank you for stopping by for a spell!
I am a 40-something year old American woman. Born in Texas, raised in Las Vegas!
Frenchified for Life
is a fabulous little lifestyle blog about truly embracing French life!
My intent is to simply inspire you to create something unique and beautiful in your everyday life. The French have this wonderful and annoying habit of seeing the world through rose colored glasses, might as well learn something from them!
That said, I lift my glass to you!
By the way, I mention the name Cachou (or The Cash) a lot, I'm referring to her...